Leaving a Legacy

Audio By Carbonatix

Recently, I was thinking about something that might seem a little morbid, but it reminded me of something that is really important. I thought about what my family would say about me at my funeral. These thoughts weren’t prompted by a close call driving on the highway or by a health scare. Rather, I simply started thinking about what my family would remember about me once I’m gone. And I had a realization: what I’m doing today influences my legacy. On one hand, that’s really obvious. Of course, our actions leave lasting impressions. But on the other hand, we don’t often factor the small things that make up our lives into our decisions.

The challenge is for each of us to set our long-term goals. I don’t mean our financial or business goals. I don’t mean goals related to a dream house or a dream car. Even though that stuff is all part of life, the goals I’m talking about are the ones that will impact our families once we’re gone. And when I’m gone, I want my family to say that I was consistent and faithful: a good dad. And, of course, while I had my flaws and failures, I was always there for them.

If I want them to say those things about me at my funeral, I need to earn that by being there for them in the ups and downs of life today, tomorrow, and every day until I die. Think about the things that you are currently doing (or not doing). As we repeat those actions daily for decades, that becomes the way that people think of us. If we are kind and generous in small moments, we will earn a reputation for our kindness and generosity. But if we are often rude and withholding, that will be the reputation that we earn for ourselves.

We all know what we ultimately want our reputation and legacy to be, so let’s start living that way right now. Let’s all be more loving and available to our wives, parents, kids, and grandkids. If you’re reading this and realizing that the reputation that you’ve earned for yourself isn’t one that you’re proud of, that means that it’s time to make some changes. One important thing that I often remind people of is that if you’ve spent years or decades earning a negative reputation, that’s not something that is going to be undone overnight.

I’ve actually been learning that myself in recent years. In the early stages of my marriage and parenting, I was prone to losing my temper. And I earned a reputation for outbursts, where I lost control of my temper and peeled out of the driveway, stomped off and slammed a door, or yelled. Over the past ten years or so, I’ve worked hard to undo that part of my reputation. I’m not perfect in how I control my emotions. However, I’m a whole lot better at it than I was ten years ago. Think about that for a moment—I started a new, positive pattern when I was fifty years old! My hope is that you’re reading my story and realizing that it’s not too late to try something new.

What we do and say on a daily basis builds our reputation, so let’s build a positive one. By working at it, we can leave a positive legacy for ourselves and our family, so we can win more often at home.